Mhlawumbe uthole izimemo nge-WhatsApp, i-imeyili, noma ngomlomo ukuze ujoyine uchungechunge lomkhuleko. Kwesinye isikhathi ziyanyakaza, kwesinye isikhathi ziphakamisa ukungabaza, ikakhulukazi uma zifika nezimo ezinjengokuthi "yidlulisele kubantu abangama-20." Kuwo wonke lowo msindo, kukhona okushaywayo okuyiqiniso: isifiso sokuthandaza ndawonye futhi sisekelane ngokholo lapho sidingeka kakhulu.
Ukuhlela uchungechunge lomkhuleko olwakhiwe kahle kulula futhi kubaluleke kakhulu. Okubalulekile ukuhlukanisa phakathi "kwezinhlamvu zamaketanga" zomphakathi ezinamandla nezikholelwa ezeni. Ngeziqondiso ezicacile, inhlonipho yobumfihlo, nezinjongo ezithile, Umthandazo ohlanganyelwe ungaba isisekelo sangempela sokusekela, ithemba, nenduduzo..
Liyini ngempela iketango lomthandazo?
Iketango lomkhuleko liyisivumelwano phakathi kwabantu abathi, ngendlela ehlangene, bazibophezele ekukhulekeleni izinhloso ezithile. Isithombe seketango sinamandla: Umuntu ngamunye uba “njengesixhumanisi” esisekela umthandazo ngobunye nabanyeAwekho umlingo noma amafomula ayimfihlo: kukhona ukuzimisela okukhulu ukukhulumela ngezidingo okukhulunywa ngazo.
Lezi zinhlobo zezinhlelo zavela ngezindlela ezilula kakhulu, ezifana "nezihlahla zocingo" ezindala ezisakaza ngokushesha isicelo somkhuleko ngokubiza abantu abambalwa ngamunye. Namuhla bathembele umlayezo osheshayo, uhlu lwamakheli, amaqembu ezinkundla zokuxhumana eziyimfihlo, noma amawebhusayithi athileUbuchwepheshe buyashintsha, kodwa inhliziyo ihlala ifana: ukuthandaza njalo, ekuhlanganyeleni.
EBhayibhelini sithola umyalo wokuthandaza singaphezi futhi sethule ukunxusa kwethu ngokubonga (izikhombo ezifana neyoku-1 Thes 5:17; Kol 4:2; Fil 4:6–7). Umphakathi wamaKrestu, ubumbene emthandazweni, uyazakha, uyavuthwa, futhi ukhuthazane.Sithandaza sithemba ukuthi uNkulunkulu uyezwa, ikakhulukazi lapho sicela ngokwentando yakhe (cf. 1Joh 5:14).
Ihluke kanjani “kuzinhlamvu zamaketanga” ezikholelwa ezeni?
Kubalulekile ukuhlukanisa ngokucacile phakathi kwamaketango omthandazo ayiqiniso nemilayezo ebeka ukholo ekudlulisweni kwenqwaba noma izithembiso zemivuzo nezinsongo zesijeziso. Lezi zinhlobo zezinhlamvu eziwuchungechunge zezinkolelo-ze azibonisi imfundiso yobuKristu noma incazelo yangempela yomthandazo.Ukholo alulona "ibhizinisi" futhi uNkulunkulu akenzi nge-clickbait blackmail.
Abefundisi namakhathekhisti baligcizelele leli phuzu: ungakwazi ukususa ngokuphepha noma yimiphi imilayezo ekunxusa ukuthi uyithumele ukuze “uqinisekise isibusiso” noma “ugweme amashwa.” Uma uthola eyodwa, ungayiguqula ibe isimemo esithule sokuthandazela leyo nhloso. Kodwa ungaphakeli inkolelo-ze noma ingcindezi yomphakathi yokuyidlulisela phambili.UNkulunkulu akabeki izimo zalolu hlobo obizweni lokuthandaza.
Ezinye zezizathu eziqinile zokungawalandeli la maketango ezinkolelo-ze ukuthi ayacasula, abhebhezela izinkolelo zemilingo, futhi ancike emikhubeni ehlanganisa izinto noma ezakha amandla angakaNkulunkulu kuphela. Asidingi amafomula angenangqondo noma inombolo ethile yokuthunyelwa kabusha: sidinga ukholo, isisa, nokwethenjwa..
Umkhuleko: uthando, ukwethemba, kanye nendlela yomoya
Ukuphila komthandazo okokuqala nokuyinhloko kuwubuhlobo bothando noNkulunkulu, hhayi uhlelo lwemivuzo nezijeziso. Abangcwele abaningana namakhosi omoya baye bachaza ukuthi, emthandazweni, Umphefumulo uzivulela entandweni kaNkulunkulu futhi ukhule ebunyeni NayeKunezikhathi zokukhanya kanye nezihlanzo ezidinga a inqubo yokuphulukisa yangaphakathiKodwa kugxilwa ngaso sonke isikhathi othandweni, hhayi ingcindezi noma ukwesaba.
Zonke izinhlobo zezidingo zingavezwa kuNkulunkulu (izidingo ezifana nempilo(umsebenzi, ukuthula komndeni, izinqumo ezinzima) ngokuzithoba nobuqotho. Okubalulekile wukwamukela ukuthi “Intando yakho mayenziwe,” ngoba Ukunxusa kobuKristu akubeki imibandela kuNkulunkulu futhi akuzami ukuphoqelela umphumela.Umthandazo uhlala, noma impendulo ingeyona into ebesiyilindele.
Ngokuhambisana nalombono, iBhayibheli lisikhuthaza ukuthi “celani, niyophiwa” futhi lisikhumbuza ukuthi uMoya uyasiza emthandazweni wethu ngisho nalapho sintula amazwi (cf. Roma 8:26–27). Futhi kunezithembiso eziduduzayo, njengalezo ezikuJeremiya 33:3, abaningi abazifingqa njengesimemo sokukhala, bethembela ekuphenduleni kukaNkulunkulu. Uchungechunge lomkhuleko luqondisa konke lokhu ngokuhlanganyela nangokuhlelekile.
Izinzuzo eziyinhloko zochungechunge lomkhuleko oluhlelwe kahle
Uma lakhiwe ngendlela enengqondo, iketango lomkhuleko likhiqiza izithelo ezibambekayo. Esokuqala siyisidlo: Abantu bazizwa bephelezelwa futhi benakekelwa umphakathi othandazayo.Lokhu kwakha amabhuloho, kuqinisa izibopho, futhi kukhuthaze umuzwa wokuba ngowabanye.
Omunye umphumela ukuhambisana. Ngeshejuli ehlanganyelwe noma izibopho, umthandazo uthola isigqi nokuqhubeka. Kulula ukubekezela lapho sazi ukuthi abanye bathembele kithi futhi nathi sithembele kubo.Isiyalo sisukela ekuzibophezeleni komunye nomunye.
Okwesithathu, inikeza ukusekela kwangempela ezimweni ezinzima. Umthandazo owabiwe unciphisa isizungu futhi uletha isibindi nethembakokubili ezimweni zomuntu siqu naphezu kwezinkinga zomphakathi. Ukuzwa ukuthi inethiwekhi iyakuthandazela kushintsha umuzwa wokuhlupheka..
Indlela yokuhlela iketango lomkhuleko igxathu negxathu
1) Chaza inhloso. Cacisa ukuthi kungani uchungechunge lwenziwa: umuntu othize, isidingo somphakathi, inhloso yomhlaba wonke. Inhloso ecacile iqondisa imithandazo futhi iqondise okulindelweyo.
2) Khetha isiteshi. Lokhu kungaba yingxoxo yemiyalezo, i-imeyili, iqembu elivaliwe lenkundla yezokuxhumana, noma uhlu lwamakholi. Cabangela ubudala nokujwayela kobuchwepheshe kweqembu. Uma isiteshi sifinyeleleka kakhudlwana, abahlanganyeli bazosabela kangcono..
3) Thola abantu abalungile. Ngokufanelekile, ufuna ukufaka labo abazinikele ngempela emthandazweni. Ungakwazi ukumema abantu abavela emphakathini wakho wezenkolo, phakathi kwabangane, noma umndeni. Isisekelo sabalandeli esincane kodwa esithembekile sibaluleke ngaphezu kweqembu elikhulu, elingasebenzi..
4) Sungula imihlahlandlela nezindima. Nquma ukuthi izicelo zizothunyelwa kanjani, ubani ozozibeka endaweni eyodwa, ukuthi kuzoba kangaki izibuyekezo, nokuthi yiluphi ulimi oluzosetshenziswa. Khetha umxhumanisi futhi, uma kunesidingo, omengameli. Imithetho ecacile ivimbela ukudideka futhi ikhuthaza ukuphilisana okuvumelanayo..
5) Setha isimiso. Kungaba nsuku zonke, masonto onke, noma ngamashifu ukuze uhlanganise izikhathi zamahora angu-24. Bandakanya izikhumbuzi ezithambile, nezivumelana nezimo ezihlonipha amashejuli namazoni esikhathi. Isigqi okuvunyelwene ngaso sigcina ukuqhubeka ngaphandle kokucindezela..
Izindlela zokuxhumana ezinhle
Gcina imilayezo ibe mifushane futhi iqonde lapho ukhuluma ngezinhloso ezintsha, izinguquko, noma izimpendulo ezitholiwe. Nikeza ulwazi olwanele ngaphandle kokugaxa umamukeli. Izinga lokuxhumana linethonya ngokuqondile ukuzinikela nokunaka kweqembu..
Dala izikhala zobufakazi kanye nokubonga. Ukuzwa indlela uNkulunkulu asebenze ngayo kukhuthaza wonke umuntu futhi, lapho kufaneleka, kuguqula uchungechunge lomthandazo lube “uchungechunge lokudumisa.” Ukwabelana ngezithelo zomsebenzi wethu kuvuselela ugqozi lwethu lokuthandaza..
Gwema ukuthumela imilayezo njalo futhi ngobuningi, njengoba lokhu kungenza ingxoxo ibe umsindo. Abantu abaningi bayathulisa noma bavimbe izingxoxo uma ziba nezingenele. Imvamisa, isikhathi, kanye nokuzwela kuyisihluthulelo sokugwema ugaxekile..
Ubumfihlo nokuvikelwa kwedatha yomuntu siqu
Ukugcinwa kuyimfihlo akuyona inketho: cela imvume ngaphambi kokwabelana ngenhloso, khawula idatha ebucayi, futhi ugweme ukushicilela ulwazi oluhlonza othile ngokweqile. Umthetho olula futhi osebenzayo ukusho igama lokuqala kuphela nedolobha..
Ezinye izinkundla zokuzinikela, ngokwesibonelo, zidinga ukubhaliswa kwabasebenzisi, buyekeza izicelo ngaphambi kokuzishicilela, futhi zincome ngokusobala ngokumelene nokufaka izibongo. Lezi zihlungi zingathatha amahora ambalwa futhi Bafuna ukuvikela ubumfihlo kanye nekhwalithi yokuqukethwe.
Uma uxhumanisa uchungechunge, qeqesha ithimba lakho ngendlela yokusingatha ulwazi (ubani olubonayo, lapho lugcinwa khona, luhlala isikhathi esingakanani). Ukwethenjwa kutholwa ngokunakekela yonke imininingwane, okuhlanganisa nezomthetho..
Okufanele ukugweme: inkolelo-ze, ingcindezi, nolwazi olunganembile
– Ungazibandakanyi emilayezweni ethembisa ukuthandwa ngokuzenzakalela noma ekusabisayo uma ungayidluliseli. Lokho akubona ubuKristu futhi kudida ukholo nemilingo. Umusa kaNkulunkulu awukwazi ukuthengwa ngokuchofoza noma kuxoxiswane nabaphambili..
- Ungabelani ngezicelo ngaphandle kokugunyazwa noma imininingwane ejulile engadalula abantu besithathu. Intshiseko yabaphostoli ngaphandle kokuhlakanipha ingalimaza.
- Qinisekisa ulwazi olushaqisayo olutholwe ngezinhlelo zokusebenza zemiyalezo. Umlando wakamuva ubonisa ukuthi amanga asakazwa ngemiyalezo ewuchungechunge aye abangela izinkinga ezinkulu ezingxenyeni ezihlukahlukene zomhlaba. Usizo luphinde lubandakanye isibopho ekukhulumeni.
- Gwema ukwenza umkhuleko njengokuhweba. Njengoba abangcwele abaningi befundisa, umthandazo uzalwa othandweni futhi ufuna okuhle koThandekayo kanye nabafowethu nodadewethu; aliphishekeli “imivuzo” ezenzakalelayo noma ibalekele “izijeziso” eziqanjiwe. Sithandaza ngoba sithanda futhi siyamethemba, hhayi ngenxa yokwesaba..
Izisekelo ZeBhayibheli kanye Nempilo Engokomoya
UmBhalo usikhuthaza ukuba sinxuse futhi sibonge, siphikelele, futhi sicele ngokwentando kaNkulunkulu. EmaVangelini, uJesu usifundisa ukuthandaza ngokwethemba njengengane futhi unikeza nomthandazo oyisibonelo ukuze uqondise izinhliziyo zethu. Iketango lomkhuleko lihumusha lowo moya uwenze umkhuba obambekayo, womphakathi.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, abafundisi bakamoya bayasikhumbuza ukuthi umthandazo uyindlela yokukhula othandweni. Bakhuluma ngezigaba ezikhanyayo, izikhathi eziwugwadule, kanye nokuhlanzwa okusilungiselela inyunyana ejulile. Iketango lingakusekela ezikhathini ezinzima futhi ligubhe induduzo lapho zifika..
Ubani ongabamba iqhaza futhi kangaki?
Noma ubani ofisa ukuthandazela abanye angajoyina—ngokwesibonelo, ngomyeni onotshwala—, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uhambo lwabo lokukholwa lungaba luni. Kuvamile ukuthi imindeni yonke nezingane zibambe iqhaza, njalo kunesiqondiso sabantu abadala ukuze sijwayelane nolimi nokulindelwe. Ukubandakanya izingane kuzifundisa ngesisa nokuncenga..
Ngokuqondene nejubane, zikhona amaketanga nsuku zonkemasonto onke noma icushwe kuphela ezimeni eziphuthumayo. Okubalulekile ukuthi ukuzibophezela kungokoqobo kumuntu ngamunye. Kungcono ukubekezela okuthobekile kunezithembiso ezinkulu ezingagcinwanga kamuva..
Amathuluzi awusizo namafomethi
- Ifoni: ilungele amaqembu amancane noma abantu asebekhulile. Ukuthintana ngezwi kudlulisa ukusondelana futhi kunciphisa ukungezwani..
- Imiyalezo ne-imeyili: Lokhu kuvumela izaziso ezisheshayo nezihlukene. Phatha uhlu, thulisa izingxoxo ezingaphuthumi, futhi usebenzise imigqa yezihloko ecacile. Ubuchwepheshe busohlangothini lwakho uma ubazi kalula..
- Amaqembu avaliwe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana: asebenza kahle uma kukhona ukulinganisela nemithetho ecacile. Ubumfihlo, ukuhleleka, nenhlonipho kubalulekile..
- Izinkundla ezinikezelwe: eminye imiphakathi inezindawo zewebhu lapho ungathumela khona izinhloso, ngokushicilelwa okulinganiselwe kanye nemithetho eqinile yobumfihlo. Lezi zinhlelo ezimaphakathi zilula, zihlele, futhi zivikele.
Izindima ezinconyiwe ngaphakathi kweketango
- Ukuxhumanisa: iqoqa izinhloso, ihlanza idatha ebucayi futhi ithumele ukuxhumana. “Iyinodi” ehlela ukuhamba kolwazi.
- Ukulinganisela: gcina ithoni engaguquki, xazulula izinkinga zobuchwepheshe, futhi usebenzise imithetho. Gwema izingxabano futhi ugcine inhloso engokomoya.
- Abakhulekeli: labo abathatha amashifu athile omthandazo noma izibopho. Bayinhliziyo egcina iketango liphila..
- Ukuxhumana: bhala imiyalezo, lungiselela izifinyezo, bese usakaza ukubonga. Kusiza ukugcina wonke umuntu enolwazi, ngaphandle kokumkhungathekisa..
Izibonelo zezinkombandlela ezisebenzayo
- Ifomethi yenhloso: "Igama (isibongo kuphela), idolobha, inhloso emshweni owodwa, futhi, ngokuzikhethela, icaphuno leBhayibheli." Okuncane kuningi uma kuziwa kudatha yomuntu siqu.
- Imvamisa yokuthunyelwa: umbiko ojwayelekile owodwa ngesonto kanye nezaziso eziphuthumayo ngezikhathi ezithile. Ukuhlala njalo ngaphandle kokuqhuma kwamabhomu kugcina abantu behlanganyela.
- Izibuyekezo: inhloso ngayinye kufanele ilandelwe (ukuthuthukiswa, izinguquko noma ukuvalwa). Ukuvala iluphu kuvimbela iketango ekubeni lishiywe lilenga..
- Imvume: uma othile ecelela omunye umuntu umkhuleko, ucela imvume eshiwo noma babelane ngenhloso ngendlela engabonakali. Ukuvikela umuntu njalo kuyinto ehamba phambili.
Izisusa ezinempilo lapho ubhekene nezingcindezi nokwesaba
Umfutho ofanele wokuthandaza uwuthando ngoNkulunkulu nomakhelwane; isisusa esingalungile siwukwesaba isiqalekiso noma isifiso sokuthola umvuzo “oqinisekisiwe”. Iketango lomkhuleko elivuthiwe ligwema ukuphoqelelwa futhi lamukele inkululeko.
Uma uthola imilayezo ezama ukukulawula, yisuse ngaphandle kwecala. Uma ufisa, sebenzisa ukuthinta njengesikhumbuzo sokuthandazela leso sidingo ngaphandle kokudlulisa umlayezo. Ukwenza okuhle buthule kuwumuthi omkhulu wokulwa nenkolelo-ze.
“Ngibize, ngizokuphendula” ( Jer 33:3 ) ngokuvamile ifushaniswa ngolimi oluvamile; ngale kokwakhiwa, isithembiso singesenduduzo nesiqondiso. Ukuthembela kulokho kusondelana kugcina ukuncenga kwethu.
Kubalulekile futhi ukukhumbula ukuthi lapho umphakathi ubona imiphumela emihle (impilo engcono, ukuvuleka kweminyango, ukubuyisana), kufanelekile ukubonga. Ukubonga kuqinisa ithemba futhi kuvimbele ukunciphisa yonke into ekubuzeni.
Amaphutha avamile kanye nendlela yokuwavimbela
- Gcwalisa ngemiyalezo: hlela futhi unikeze izikhathi. Iqembu elingazizwa lihlaselwe lihlala ndawonye isikhathi eside.
- Ukuphazamiseka kwezinhloso: sebenzisa amalebula, izinhlu, noma ifomu elilula. Ukulandeleka kuvimbela ukulahlekelwa ukubona kwabantu..
- Ukuntuleka kokulandelela: kwabela izibopho "zokuvala" icala ngalinye. Ukuvala okunomthwalo wemfanelo kuhlonipha kokubili labo abacela usizo nalabo abalunikeza..
- Ukunganakwa kwezingane: uma izingane zihilelekile, vumelanisa okuqukethwe, isikhathi nolimi, futhi ugweme ulwazi olubucayi. Ukufundisa ngomthandazo nakho ukufundisa ngobuhlakani..
- Ukusabalalisa imininingwane engamanga: hlola imithombo ngaphambi kokudlulisela phambili. Amahemuhemu amagciwane aye adala umonakalo omkhulu emazweni ahlukahlukene; ungafaki isandla kukho. Iqiniso nesisa kuyahambisana.
Uma iketango liqondiswe kahle, liba yinethiwekhi etholakalayo "ngemizuzu embalwa", ehlale ilungele ukuthandazela noma ubani oyidingayo. Lowo moya wenkonzo yobuhlakani neqhubekayo ungamandla abo amakhulu..
Uchungechunge lomkhuleko lwangempela luwukuhlangenwe nakho okwabiwe kokholo: abantu abahlanganiswe yinhloso efanayo, abahlelwe ngenhlonipho nobulula, bathandaza ngaphandle kwengcindezi noma inkolelo-ze, behlonipha ubumfihlo, nokugubha izithelo zemithandazo yabo. Uma ukhetha iziteshi ezinhle, beka imithetho ecacile, gwema ukudlulisela phambili okunemibandela, futhi ubeke uthando kuqala, Uzothola ukuthi umthandazo wokuhlanganyela usekela, ududuza, futhi uguqule kanjani kokubili lowo ocelayo kanye nalowo onxusayo..
