Isizungu. Ukuzizwa uwedwa kuyisimo somuntu, umuzwa wemvelo lokho akudingekile ukuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi kube kubi, kodwa kungaba usizo kithi.
UKhisimusi ungenye yalezo zikhathi zonyaka lapho umuntu angazizwa enesizungu ngisho nalapho ezungezwe umndeni nabangane. Kangangoba kukhona abantu abangaphumuli ngalezi zinsuku, bazizwe bedabukile bafune nokukhala noma bafune kudlule ngokushesha futhi bangabekezeli lesi sizungu.
Yini esiyiqondayo ngesizungu futhi singabona kanjani ukuthi siyasizwa?
Igama elithi isizungu njengamanje lisenza sisheshe sicabange okuthile okungekuhle, into esifuna ukuyigwema. Leli gama selinikezwe inani elibi isikhathi eside kangangokuthi selize lakhishwa inyumbazana. Okunye futhi kukhona abantu abaziyo abanye abantu abangabalethi lutho futhi abasuke benobuthi kubo ngoba nje bezizwa bebodwa, lokhu kudalwa yilokhu kuhlale kucanasa ukuhlobanisa isizungu nento engeyinhle. Iqiniso liwukuthi isizungu siyisimo esingokwemvelo sesintu nokuthi ngokuvamile akubi nje kuphela inkinga kodwa futhi siyadingeka futhi siwusizo kakhulu.
Uma kuyiqiniso ukuthi lapho isizungu siba a isimo esijwayelekile "sokunqanyulwa". nabanye abantu kuba yinkinga, umthombo wokuhlupheka ngoba sizizwa sihlukanisiwe, sikhishwe inyumbazane, singanakwa. Lolu wuhlobo lwesizungu okufanele lugwenywe, futhi ngeshwa, sihlala sikhona njalo. Kodwa izikhathi ezingavamile zokuba wedwa zinhle ukuthi sikwazi ukuzithola.
Lapho isizungu akuyona into yokuzithandela, kodwa umphumela wokugula kwengqondo
Sesikushilo lokhu, kumele sikhumbule ukuthi isizungu esenzeka ngenxa yokugula ngengqondo kumele siqashwe ngeso lokhozi futhi selashwe. Kulokhu kuvame ukwenzeka ngenxa yobunzima bokuvulela abanye noma ngenxa yezinkinga ze I-social phobia noma ukubhekana nomphakathi. Kulezi zimo, inkinga kufanele kubhekwane nayo futhi kufanele kwenziwe umzamo wokuzungeza umuntu nabangane nabantu abacebisayo futhi abanikeza inhlalakahle nokuthula kwengqondo.
Kungani singazizwa sinesizungu ngisho nalapho sizungezwe abantu?
Izikhathi eziningi singaba phakathi kwabantu abaningi, ngisho nabathandekayo abanjengomndeni nabangane, futhi sizizwe sisodwa. Ngalesi sikhathi, sizithola siphakathi kwabantu abaningi, kodwa sinomuzwa wokunganeliseki, sizizwa singaphumuli, sifuna ukukhala noma sicabange ngisho nokuthi esikwenzayo kuyacika futhi akukho okusilethela injabulo.
Abantu abahlangabezana nalo muzwa lapho benabantu bavame ukuzizwa benamahloni ngalo muzwa abawuzwayo, noma baze bazizwe benecala ngokuba njalo. Ngezinye izikhathi abazisole bona kuphela, kodwa nalabo abaseduze nabo, umlingani wabo noma abangani noma umndeni wabo. Futhi lokho kwenza lowo muzwa wokungaqondi, ukukhathala kanye nesithukuthezi sempilo uphawuleke nakakhulu. Lowo muzwa wokubamba iqhaza esimweni abangafuni ukuba kusona, sokubonisa ukuhlonishwa abangakwazi ukukuzwa ngaleso sikhathi kanye nokuzenzisa ukuzwakala kwemizwa.
izimpawu zesizungu
Enye yezinkinga ngesizungu ukuthi inhlanzi eluma umsila, kwakhiwa isiyingi esibi. Ukuqala kulula futhi kungenzeka kwabangaphezu koyedwa wethu. Phakathi kwezimpawu ezivame kakhulu sithola:
- iqembu;
- umuzwa wokungaqondi kahle kwabanye;
- sicabanga ukuthi sihlukile kwabanye abantu, ukuthi ngeke sihlangane nabo ngoba behlukile;
- ufuna ukuba kude nomhlaba, nqamula, ukuhoxa emphakathini ukuze sizizwe sinokuthula, sizolile, sizinhle ngokwethu.
Ngezinye izikhathi kukhona izici zobuntu ezingasenza siwele kulokhu kuhlukaniswa nomphakathi, isibonelo, i abantu abanamahloni Kungenzeka ukuthi bafuna ukuzihlukanisa nomphakathi. Labo abangenalwazi noma abavame ukuba nobuntu obudangele bavame ukufuna izikhathi zokuba bodwa kanye nokungaxhunywanga emphakathini. Abantu abakuthola kunzima kakhulu ukwakha noma yiluphi uhlobo lobuhlobo nabanye bangase bathole ukuba bodwa indlela yokufuna isiphephelo nokuzivikela esintwini. Kodwa leyo yinkemba esika nhlangothi zombili ngoba ekuqaleni ibukeka iyisiphephelo, kodwa igcina isiyinkinga. Lesi siphephelo sibenza bahoxe nangokwengeziwe futhi kwandisa nokungabethembi abanye abantu. Singasho ukuthi isizungu kanye nokuhoxa emphakathini kuyaqinisana endaweni enonya.
Ungabhekana kanjani nezinsuku ezimakwe njengoKhisimusi noma olwandulela uNcibijane sibe sisodwa ngempela?
Uma uzizwa unesizungu okufanele ukwenze ukufuna abanye abantu. Lokhu kubonakala kungenangqondo futhi kulula kakhulu ukukwenza, kodwa kuyinselele enkulu uma unesizungu. Sonke siyazi ukuthi ubungane yiphuzu eliyisisekelo lokungazizwa uwedwa. Uma sinabangane sondliwa futhi sinothiswe empilweni yethu yonke ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo. Asiphili impilo yethu kuphela, kodwa sabelana ngezimpilo ezimbalwa futhi lokho kusenza siguquke futhi sizicebise. Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuhlakulela ubungane, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi baseminyakeni eminingi edlule noma bamuva nje. Abantu badinga ukuphuma endaweni yethu yokunethezeka futhi balulaze ukwesaba ukwaliwa noma ezinye izici zokuphila.
Kodwa uma lezi zinsuku ezikhethekile zifika futhi singenabo abangane eduze, singahlala sikhetha ukuhlela uhambo, ukuthola ezinye izindawo, sivakashele umuntu esingakaze simbone isikhathi eside... Noma uma ngempela singenaye umuntu, kufanele sihlele isonto ukuze kungabikho izikhala ezingenalutho phakathi kwezinsuku ezihlukene nalezo esizisebenzisayo ukulala. Okungukuthi, gcwalisa ihora ngalinye losuku ukwenza izinto. Isibonelo kungaba ukukhetha lezi zinsuku ukwenza izinguquko ekhaya.
Singenza kanjani abanye abantu abazizwa benesizungu ngalezi zinsuku bazizwe bengcono?
Uma kungethina esizizwa sisodwa, kodwa othile esimaziyo, into yokuqala okudingeka siyicacise ukuthi umuzwa ovamile, lowo wonke umuntu azowuthola ngesikhathi esithile ekuphileni kwakhe. Kumelwe sikhumbule ukuthi lapho uwedwa kunesidingo "sokuba semicabangweni yomunye umuntu," okungukuthi, akukhona ngawe kodwa "ngomunye umuntu ocabanga ngawe." Lena indlela yokuqinisekisa ubukhona bomuntu. Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi lapho sibona othile enesizungu, kufanele simsize, sikhulume naye, simthumelele imiyalezo, simshayele ucingo, simbuze ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, futhi sibonise isithakazelo kuye nenhlalakahle yakhe.
Zibandakanye nathi
Enye yezinto esingayenza ngalezi zinsuku abenze babambe iqhaza zokudla noma idili lomkhosi. Bafake kuma-appetizers, amadina noma idina nomndeni noma abangani. Lesi isinyathelo sokuqala sokuba bazi ukuthi siye sacabanga ngabo, ukuthi bakhona nokuthi bakhona futhi babalulekile kwabanye abantu.
En los amacala lapho isizungu sihambisana nezinkinga ezingokwengqondo noma ukuhoxiswa komphakathi Usizo lochwepheshe lungase lufaneleke ukuze lusebenze njengesiqondiso ekukhuthazeni ukuba yedwa okunempilo, okungokwabantu abangazami ukufihla indlela yabo noma umuzwa wabo futhi abavame ukuhlala ngokuphikisana okungaphakathi okungapheli. Ngosizo lwengcweti, ama-taboos omphakathi anganqotshwa futhi laba bantu bangagxila kulokho okubagcwalisayo futhi okubakhangayo, okwenza isidingo sokwabelana ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo nabanye abantu sikhule futhi.
Kubaluleke kakhulu futhi ukusebenzisa amagama angukhiye amabili empilweni: ngiyabonga futhi cha. Ukwazi ukusebenzisa la magama amabili kubalulekile ukuze ukwazi ukwazisa kakhulu isikhathi umuntu asichitha eyedwa kanye nabanye. Kuyindlela yokuzazi wena kanye namandla esinawo okufunda ezindleleni zobudlelwano, ukwakha ubudlelwano nabanye.
Yiba lapho
Izikhathi eziningi abantu abazizwa benesizungu, ikakhulukazi kulezi zinsuku, badinga nje ukuthi ube khona futhi babe khona (ukholelwe noma cha). Ukuthi uyazilalela, uzicabangele lapho ulungiselela amaholide noma ukugubha ndawonye. Ukuthi ubonge ukuba khona kwabo ukuthi bangezwa ukuthi ukuba khona kwabo lapho akukona nje kuphela ukuhlupha kodwa kuyisizathu senjabulo nentokozo. Ngezinye izikhathi kubiza imali encane kakhulu ukwenza abantu bajabule, kodwa kubiza kakhulu ukuveza imizwa yethu.
Uma senza umuntu onesizungu abekhona emcimbini, kodwa singakhulumi naye noma simenze azizwe ejabule ngokuthi ukhona, asigcini nje ngokumsiza ngaleso sikhathi, kodwa sikhulisa isidingo sakhe. ukuzehlukanisa nokungafuni ukuhlanganyela kunoma yini emele ukuhlanganyela nabanye.