Izingxabano phakathi kwabazali nezingane ziyingxenye yokuphila komndeni, kodwa uma uzibona mathupha, zingaba nzima, zibe buhlungu, futhi zikhathazeke. Akekho othanda ukuba indlu ibe yindawo yokulwa, ikakhulukazi uma kunezingane ezibukele, ezididekile.
Ukuqonda ukuthi kungani izingane nabazali bephikisanaUkuqonda imiphumela yangempela yalezi zingxabano nokuthi ungaziphatha kanjani ngendlela enempilo kubalulekile ekukhuliseni izingane ezizinzile ngokomzwelo ngenkathi futhi kuthuthukiswa ubudlelwano bombhangqwana kanye nenhlalakahle yomuntu ngamunye. Akukhona ukudala ukuthula kokwenziwa ekhaya, kodwa mayelana nokufunda ukungavumelani ngaphandle kokuzilimaza thina noma izingane zethu.
Iyini ingxabano yomndeni futhi kungani ivame kangaka?
Ingxabano iyinto isimo sokungavumelaniUkungqubuzana kwezintshisekelo noma ukungezwani kwemibono phakathi kwabantu ababili noma ngaphezulu. Emndenini, lokhu kungqubuzana kungavela phakathi kwabalingani, phakathi kwabazali nezingane, noma phakathi kwabafowabo nodadewabo, futhi akunakwenzeka ukuhlala ndawonye ngaphandle kokuba kuvele ngezikhathi ezithile, ngezinye izikhathi okuholela ekungqubuzaneni. Izinkinga zomndeni.
Ingxabano ngokwayo Akuyona into embi.Kungahlala phakathi kwabantu abathintekayo noma kusakazekele emndenini wonke. Kusakazeka ngqo lapho amalungu amaningi ethatha uhlangothi futhi ejoyina impi, futhi ngokungaqondile lapho imiphumela engokomzwelo noma yokuziphatha yengxabano ithinta indawo yasekhaya, isimo sengqondo, noma ukuziphatha kwezingane.
Imizwa evuswa yingxabano Zincike ezintweni eziningiKonke kuncike ebuntwini bomuntu, ukuqina kwempikiswano, ukuthi kwenzeka kangaki, futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukuthi ixazululwa kanjani. Ezinye izingxabano ziphela ngokukhululeka, ukuqonda, noma ukusondelana okukhulu, kanti ezinye zishiya ngemuva intukuthelo, ukwesaba, umuzwa wecala, noma ukudabuka.
Uma kuba nezingxabano phakathi kwabazali, kugxilwe kakhulu ukuthi zithinta kanjani izinganeKukuziphi izimo futhi yiziphi izici lapho lokhu kulwa kungathinta khona intuthuko yabo ngokomzwelo, ukuziphatha kwabo, kanye nendlela yabo yokuxhumana nabanye?
Kungani abazali nezingane bephikisana kangaka?
Ukukhulisa izingane kuyindawo indawo evundile yengxabanoAkukhona nje kuphela umehluko phakathi kwalokho umntwana akufunayo nalokho umuntu omdala akubheka njengokufanelekile, kodwa futhi nokungavumelani phakathi kombhangqwana mayelana nendlela yokukhulisa izingane, ukubeka imingcele, noma ukuxazulula izinkinga zansuku zonke.
Ukungavumelani mayelana nokuba ngumzali kuvame ukuba izimpande ezijulileIndlela umzali ngamunye akhuliswe ngayo, izindinganiso zakhe zamasiko, izinkolelo zakhe mayelana nesiyalo, ukufunda, ukuzijabulisa, uthando, noma isikhathi sokubuka isikrini—konke lokhu kuvela lapho sekuyisikhathi sokunquma ukuthi uzokhulisa kanjani izingane.
Abanye izindawo ezivamile zezingxabano Ukungezwani phakathi kwabazali kuvame ukuvela mayelana nezindlela zokujezisa (isijeziso uma kuqhathaniswa nesiyalo esihle), okulindelwe ezifundweni, ukuvumelana ngezinhlelo nemithetho, kanye nendlela yokusingatha ukucasuka nokuziphatha okungekuhle. Uma lokhu kungezwani kungaxoxwanga ngokuthula, ingxabano ivele ivele phambi kwezingane.
Izingxabano phakathi kwabazali nezingane zivela nsuku zonke: umsebenzi wesikole, isikhathi sokubuka isikrini, ukuhlanza amathoyizi, isikhathi sokubuya ekhaya ngesikhathi sobusha, noma ukuhlukanisa imisebenzi yasekhaya. Ngokuvamile, abazali bafika ekhaya bekhathele, becindezelekile, noma bematasa ngezinye izinto, futhi isenzo esincane sokungalaleli noma ukunyathela kabi kwengane kungadala ingxabano.
Izingxabano zabazali: indlela ezithinta ngayo izingane
Akuzona zonke izingxabano phakathi kwabantu abadala ezinazo umphumela ofanayo ezinganeniUcwaningo lukhomba izici ezintathu ezibalulekile ezenza umehluko: ubukhulu bengxabano, ukuthi yenzeka kangaki, nokuthi ixazululwa kanjani.
La ubukhulu Kuqala ekungavumelanini okuzolile kuya ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzimba. Izingxabano eziphansi, noma ngabe zivame ukwenzeka, azihlali ziholela ezinkingeni uma zingahlanganisi ukuthukwa, ukuhlazeka, izinsongo, noma ulaka. Ingozi iyanda uma kukhona ukumemeza, ukubizwa ngamagama ahlambalazayo, noma ukushaya, noma ngabe kungekho ukulimala ngokomzimba.
La imvamisa Kubaluleke kakhulu futhi: ukubona abazali bexabana njalo kungenza ingane izwele kakhulu kunoma yiluphi uphawu lokungezwani. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kuhlotshaniswa namakhono aphansi okuxhumana nabantu, ubunzima obukhulu bokuzivumelanisa nezimo ngaphandle kwekhaya, kanye namathuba amakhulu ezinkinga ezingokomzwelo noma zokuziphatha.
Indlela lo mbhangqwana uxazulula ukungezwani kwabo Kusebenza njengesihlungi: uma kusobala ukuthi ingxabano iphela ngezivumelwano, ukuxolisa, kanye nokuzola, izingane zivame ukubhekana nokucindezeleka okuncane futhi zifunda ukuthi ukuphikisana kungaholela ekuqondeni okungcono. Lapho izingxabano zingaxazululwa noma ziba zingapheli, isimo somndeni siba sibi, futhi izingane ziqonda ukuthi ukungezwani kuxazululwa ngokumemeza noma ngokujezisa.
Izifundo zicacile: ingxabano enkulu phakathi kwabazali Futhi izingxabano ezingalawulwa kahle zihlotshaniswa nokukhathazeka, ukudabuka, izinkinga zokuziphatha, ulaka, ukuziphatha okungekuhle emphakathini, ubunzima bezemfundo, kanye namakhono aphansi okuxhumana nabantu ezinganeni. Ngisho nalapho abazali behlukana, uma beqhubeka nokulwa, umthelela ezinganeni uyaqhubeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Izingane zizizwa kanjani futhi zisabela kanjani lapho zibona abazali bazo bexabana?
Uma ingane ibona abazali bayo kushintshiwe Futhi uma izinto zingalawuleki, kuyaqondakala ukuthi uzonyakaziswa: umlingani wakhe uyisiphephelo sakhe esiphephile, futhi uma leso sisekelo sinyakaziswa, naye uzonyakaziswa. Izinga lakhe lokukhathazeka lizoncika ekutheni ukulwa kwenzeka kangaki, ukuthi kukhulu kangakanani, nokuthi kwenzeka yini phambi kwabanye abantu.
La ukuchayeka okuphindayo Izingxabano ezinobudlova noma ezishubile kakhulu zingaveza izimpawu zokucindezeleka: ukukhala ngaphandle kwesizathu esibonakalayo, ikhanda elibuhlungu noma izinhlungu zesisu, izinkinga zokulala, ukucasuka, noma ukuhoxa. Ezinye izingane ziba novalo kakhulu, kanti ezinye, ngokuphambene nalokho, ziyazihlukanisa.
Ebuntwaneni, izingane zivame ukuzizwa bazisole bona ngenxa yalokho okwenzekayo eduze kwabo. Bangase bacabange nokuthi abazali babo baphikisana ngento abayenzile kabi, ethinta ukuzethemba kwabo futhi idale imizwa yecala nokungabi nalutho.
Esinye sezimo ezinzima kakhulu enganeni ukuzwa ukuthi bayaphikisana “ngenxa yabo”Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kungenxa yokuziphatha kwabo, amamaki abo, abangane babo, noma isinqumo esithile esenziwe ngabo, noma ngabe ingxabano igxile endabeni ehlobene nengane, abantu abadala banesibopho sempikiswano. Ingane ayisoze yabekwa icala ngezingxabano zabazali bayo.
Ukusabela kungahamba ngezindlela ezimbili eziyinhloko: ukufakwa ngaphakathi (ingane igwinya futhi ilawule imizwa yayo ngokweqile, iba namahloni, ikhathazeke, ithembele) kanye ukukhishwa kwemisebenzi (Intukuthelo eningi, ukushesha, ulaka, inhlonipho encane ngemithetho). Izifundo eziningi zithola imiphumela eveza kakhulu, mhlawumbe ngoba izingane zikopisha isitayela solaka ezisibona ekhaya njengendlela yokubhekana nezinkinga.
Ingabe kuhle ngezingane ukubona abazali bazo bexabana?
Nakhu kukhona ama-nuances abalulekileAbanye ochwepheshe bathi "izingxabano akufanele neze zenziwe phambi kwezingane," ngoba ingxoxo eshisayo ingakhula kalula ibe ukuthuka noma ukungahloniphi. Kusukela kulo mbono, izingxabano zemibhangqwana kufanele zihlale ziyimfihlo, njengezinye izindaba eziyimfihlo ezingahlanganyelwanga nawo wonke umuntu.
Abanye ochwepheshe bagcizelela ukuthi inkinga akuyona impikiswano, kodwa indlela yokuxoxaBaveza ukuthi uma sifuna izingane zethu zifunde ukuzicabangela zona, ziphikisane ngemibono yazo futhi zivikele imibono yazo ngenhlonipho, kudingeka zibone izibonelo zangempela zendlela abantu abadala ababili abaveza ngayo ukungavumelani, balalelane, baxoxisane futhi bafinyelele izivumelwano ngaphandle kokulimazana.
Ukukhulisa izingane ekhaya lapho Akukho ukungqubuzana okubonakalayo Lokhu kungadala isithombe esingesiso sobudlelwano: kubonakala sengathi imibhangqwana enempilo ayiphikisani, ukuthi ukungavumelani kufana "nobudlelwano obubi" noma ukuntuleka kothando. Kulezi zimo, izingane zingafunda ukugwema ukungqubuzana ngazo zonke izindleko noma ukuvumelana nemibono yabanye ukuze zigweme ukudala ukungezwani.
Ukhiye ungaphakathi dweba imigqa ebomvu Kusobala kakhulu. Ukuphikisana akukhona ukumemeza, ukuhlazisa, ukusongela, ukusebenzisa ukugcona okulimazayo, ukululaza omunye umuntu, futhi ngokuqinisekile ukungasebenzisi ubudlova obungokomzimba. Uma le mingcele yeqiwa, umyalezo izingane eziwutholayo uthi ubudlova buyingxenye yokuxhumana, futhi lokho kuyimodeli eyingozi kakhulu.
Kukhona futhi izihloko okungafanele zisakazwe Phambi kwezingane: izindaba eziyimfihlo phakathi kwabalingani, izingxabano abangaziqondi ngenxa yobudala babo noma ukuvuthwa, noma izingxoxo eziyinkimbinkimbi zomthetho nezezezimali. Kulezi zimo, into enesibopho okufanele yenziwe ukukhuluma ngasese futhi ubachazele, ngolimi olulula, ukuthi abantu abadala baxazulula izinkinga ezingezona izibopho zabo.
Uma izingxabano phakathi kwabazali zidlulela kakhulu
Izingxabano phakathi kwemibhangqwana ziyacatshangelwa okuchichimayo Lokhu kuhlanganisa ukumemeza njalo, ukuthukwa, ukuhlazeka, noma izinsongo. Ngisho noma kungekho muntu oshaya omunye ngempela, umugqa oyingozi uye weqa lapho umuntu ezama ukulawula omunye ngokwesaba: "Uma wenza lokhu, ngizohamba futhi ngeke uphinde ungibone," "Ngizokuthatha izingane kuwe," "Uzogcina usesitaladini."
Akwamukeleki Uma omunye umzali ebhubhisa izimpahla zombhangqwana, ephula izinto phambi kwezingane ukuze abesabise, esongela ngokuzibika ngamanga ezinsizeni zomphakathi, noma esebenzisa izingane njengezindlela zokuxoxisana, konke lokhu kudala isimo sobudlova obungokwengqondo obuthinta ngqo inhlalakahle yemizwa yezingane.
Ezimweni lapho zivela khona ukusunduza, ukushaya, noma ubudlova obungokomzimbaIsimo siyakhula kusukela empikiswaneni kuya ekuhlaselweni futhi sidinga usizo oluphuthumayo lochwepheshe. "Ukwenza indima yakho" akwanele: izazi zengqondo, abelaphi bemibhangqwana, noma izinsiza ezikhethekile zobudlova basekhaya ziyadingeka ukusiza ekumiseni lokhu kuguquguquka nokuvikela izingane.
Uma omunye wamalungu ombhangqwana ulahlekelwa ukulawula Kuze kube yilapho bengalimaza umlingani wabo noma izingane, omunye umuntu unesibopho sokufuna usizo emithonjeni yangaphandle: amalungu omndeni athembekile, abangani, izinsizakalo zomphakathi, noma amaphoyisa uma kudingeka. Inhloso eyinhloko ukuqinisekisa ukuphepha kwezingane nokuphula umjikelezo wobudlova ovame ukuphinda futhi ube mubi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Uma i ingxabano yangaphakathi kwabazali Kuhlala njalo futhi kunamandla, izincwadi zesayensi ziyaqinisekisa: kwandisa ingozi yesifo sengqondo sobuntwana, kokubili ngesimo sokukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka kanye nokuhoxa kanye nokuziphatha okunolaka, izinkinga zesikole kanye nobunzima ebudlelwaneni bezenhlalo.
Izingxabano zezingane zakini: izimpi ezifundisayo futhi
Ukulwa kwezingane zakini yikona isinkwa sansuku zonke emakhaya amaningi, futhi uma beba nolaka, bangaholela ukuxhashazwa komndeniBalwa kakhulu phakathi kwabo kunabanye abantwana, futhi lokho kuvamile: babelana isikhala, isikhathi, abazali, amathoyizi kanye nezinsiza, futhi ukuhlala ndawonye kudala ukungezwani.
Lezi zimpi ziyingxenye ye- ukufunda komphakathiEkhaya, izingane zakini ziprakthiza izimo ezizohlangana nazo kamuva ngaphandle (izingxabano ngokujika, ukungafani kokuthanda, intukuthelo ngenxa yokungabi nabulungisa okubonwayo…) endaweni ephephile.
Inkinga ngokuvamile akuyona impi ngokwayo, kodwa Thina bantu abadala singangenelela kanjani?Ngokuvamile, ukuze baqede ingxabano ngokushesha, abazali babeka ikhambi eliqinile: "I-TV icishiwe, yebo," "Ngigcina ithoyizi," "Nobabili anisekho enkundleni yokudlala." Lokhu kungase kumise impikiswano ngaleso sikhathi, kodwa akufundisi izingane ukuxoxisana noma ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo ngezenzo zazo.
Enye impendulo evamile iwukuthi ukusebenza njengabahluleliUkulalela omunye kakhulu kunomunye, ukunikeza ingane endala noma encane ukukholwa okwengeziwe, ukunquma ukuthi ubani olungile nokuthi ubani "ofanele ukusolwa"—lokhu kudala inzondo, umuzwa wokukhetha, futhi, futhi, kubaphuca ithuba lokufunda ukuxazulula izingxabano zabo bodwa.
Esikhundleni sabahluleli, abazali kufanele benze njengabo abahluleliUmphenyi akanqumi ukuthi ubani “olungile” noma “omubi”, kodwa uqinisekisa ukuthi imithetho eyisisekelo iyalandelwa (akukho ukuthuka, akukho ukushaya, ukushintshana ngokukhuluma) futhi usiza izinhlangothi zombili ukuveza imizwa yazo nokuthola ikhambi elisebenzela wonke umuntu.
Okungafanele ukwenze uma kwenzeka kuba nezingxabano noma ukulwa phakathi kwezingane
Kunezindlela ezithile zokusabela zabantu abadala, nakuba zinenhloso enhle, Benza izinto zibe zimbi nakakhulu. Futhi kufanele kugwenywe uma sifuna izingane zifunde ukuphatha izingxabano zazo ngenhlonipho.
1. Ukwahlulela noma ukubiza umuntu oshayeImisho efana nokuthi “umubi,” “uhlala ushaya,” noma “akunakwenzeka ukubhekana nawe” iguqula isibonelo esisodwa sokuziphatha sibe isici esichazayo. Ingane igcina ikholelwe ukuthi imbi futhi yenza ngokufanele. Kuwusizo kakhulu ukukhuluma ngalokho ekwenzile (ukushaya) nemiphumela yako kunokubiza ngephethini evamile yokuziphatha.
2. Ukukhipha izinqumo ezisheshayoUkunquma ngokushesha ukuthi ubani othola ithoyizi noma ubani olungile, ngaphandle kokulalela izinhlangothi zombili, kuvimbela ukufunda. Ingane elahlekelwayo izizwa iphathwe kabi futhi ingase ibe nenzondo ngomfowabo noma kumuntu omdala.
3. Ukuphoqa umuntu ukuthi axolise njengesixazululo somlingo"Ukuxolisa" okuzenzakalelayo kufundisa ukuthi igama elilodwa lanele ukususa okwenzekile, noma ngabe ingane ayiqondi okwenzekile futhi ayizizwa izisola ngempela. Ngaphambi kokuxoxa ngentethelelo, kubalulekile ukuthi ingane iqonde umonakalo obangelwe nokuthi kukhona ukulungiswa kwangempela, noma ngabe kungokomfanekiso kuphela.
4. Jezisa impi ngaphandle kokuchitha isikhathiUkususa inhloso yengxabano, ukukhansela umsebenzi ababezowenza, noma ukusebenzisa izijeziso ezivamile kungase kunciphise ukuziphatha okwesikhashana, kodwa akubafundisi amakhono okuxoxisana noma ukulawula imizwa.
5. Ukungenelela kusenesikhathi kakhuluAbantu abadala abaningi abaniki izingane ngisho nengxenye yomzuzu ukuzama ukuxazulula izinkinga zodwa: bayazingenela, balindele izingxabano lapho zingakabi khona, futhi bazivimbele ekusebenziseni ikhono labo lokuyekethisa nokuyekethisa. Ukuqaphela isikhashana ngaphambi kokungenelela kusiza ukukala ukuthi badinga usizo ngempela noma cha.
Indima yomuntu omdala: kusukela kumahluleli kuya kumlamuleli
Empikiswaneni phakathi kwezingane, indima yethu efanelekile akuyona ijaji elibeka icalakodwa kunalokho ngowomlamuleli oqondisa ukufuna izixazululo. Lokhu kusebenza ngokulinganayo ezimpini phakathi kwabafowabo nodadewabo maqondana nezingxabano nabalingani babo besikole noma abazala.
Njengabalamuli, sinakekela izinto ezintathu: isiqinisekiso sokuphepha (ukugwema ukulimala ngokomzimba noma ukuhlazeka), ukubeka amazwi kulokho okwenzekayo, kanye nokwenza kube lula iziphakamiso zabo zezinye izindlela. Asizikhetheli zona, kodwa kunalokho siyabaqondisa.
Uma kwenzeka ingxabano, uma kukhona ubudlova obungokomzimba, kuyadingeka hlukanisa Sondelana nezingane ngokuthula kodwa ngokuqinile, yehla uze ufike ezingeni lazo, ubheke emehlweni, futhi uhlale uzolile. Bese uqinisekisa imizwa yazo: "Ngiyabona ukuthi uthukuthele kakhulu," "Kubukeka sengathi uzizwe uphathwe kabi kakhulu," bese unikeza usizo lokuzola.
Lapho bethola ukuthula, kufika isikhathi sokuba ukuxoxisanaUmuntu ngamunye ukhuthazwa ukuba abelane ngokwenzekile, indlela azizwa ngayo, kanye nalokho angathanda ukuthi kwenzeke. Umuntu omdala angaphakamisa izixazululo ezingaba khona lapho bobabili abathintekayo bevumelana khona (beshintshana, bethola enye indlela, belungisa umonakalo, njll.), kodwa umqondo uwukuthi bazikhethele bona ikhambi.
Njengoba nje unompempe engakhipha ikhadi elibomvu uma ebona ukukhahlela okuyingozi, nomuntu omdala kumele angenelele ngokuzimisela okukhulu uma kunengozi yangempela: yeka ubudlovaSusa ingane kulesi simo bese uyiphelezela ukuze iqonde imiphumela yalokho ekwenzile, ngaphandle kokuyihlazisa noma ukuyibiza ngegama.
Isihluthulelo siwukuthi izingane zibone ukuthi izingxabano zingaxoxwa futhi zixazululwe, ukuthi imizwa enamandla ingavezwa ngaphandle kokulimaza, nokuthi ukungavumelani akusho ukunqamuka kothando noma isibopho.
Indlela yokusiza izingane ziqonde imiphumela yezenzo zazo
Kwengane funda kulokho okwenzekile Akwanele ukubatshela nje ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle. Udinga ukuxhumanisa izenzo zabo nemizwa yomunye umuntu, nomonakalo abawubangele, kanye nethuba lokulungisa isimo.
Isinyathelo sokuqala esibalulekile yilesi ukubiza imizwa Kubo bonke abathintekayo: “Wazizwa uthukuthele kakhulu lapho bethatha ithoyizi lakho,” “Umzala wakho wesaba lapho umsunduza futhi manje udabukile.” Ukubiza imizwa kubasiza ukuba bayibone futhi baqonde ukuthi izenzo zabo zinomthelela kwabanye.
Ukulungisa isimo kufundisa kakhulu kunokumane uthethelele ngomlomo. Ukuqabulana noma ukuthi “ngiyaxolisa” kungazwakala kungenalutho uma kungahambisani nesenzo esiqondile: ukusiza ekuthatheni lokho okuphonswe, ukunikeza ibhandeshi uma kube nokuqhuzuka okuncane, noma ukusebenza ndawonye ukuthola ikhambi lokulungisa ithoyizi eliphukile.
Lezi zenzo ezingokomfanekiso ze ukulungisa Bafundiswa ukuthi uma silimaza othile noma into ethile, sinomthwalo wemfanelo wokwenza konke okusemandleni ethu ukuze silungise izinto. Lokhu kubasiza ukuba baqonde ukuthi izinqumo zabo zinemiphumela yangempela, nokuthi akuzona zonke izinto ezingasulwa ngegama.
Uma ingane ithambekele ekubeni nolaka kwabanye, kuyalulekwa ukuthi isebenze kahle ekulawuleni intukuthelo yayo: ukuyibonisa ezinye izindlela zokuyiveza ("Ngithukuthele kakhulu, ngidinga ukuthi ungibuyisele lokho"), ukunikeza izikhala zokuthula, ukuzijwayeza amasu okuphefumula noma ukuhoxa okwesikhashana ngokuphelezelwa umuntu omdala.
Izingane ezihlala zivuma: indlela yokubasekela ngaphandle kokuziphindiselela
Akuzona zonke izingane ezisabela ngendlela efanayo ezingxabanweni. Abanye bavame ukuhlala phansi, bavumele izinto zisuswe kubo, bayeke ngokushesha, noma bathule ngoba besaba ukudala inkinga eyengeziwe. Lokhu kuyakhathaza futhi. kubazali abaningi.
Isixazululo akusikho ukubafundisa ukuthi “iso ngeso” noma ukubakhuthaza ukuthi balwe. Khuthaza impindiselo Kumane nje kwandisa ubudlova futhi empeleni akuqinisi ukuzethemba kwabo. Okusizayo ukubafundisa ukubeka imingcele nokuveza imizwa yabo ngokuqinile kodwa ngaphandle kobudlova.
Isu eliwusizo ukusebenzisa isikhathi sokudlala ukuze ubanikeze indima ehamba phambiliPhakamisa ukuthi bahole umsebenzi, banqume imithetho yomdlalo wokubambisana, noma bachazele abanye ukuthi bangenza kanjani into abanekhono kuyo. Konke lokhu kuqinisa ukuzethemba kwabo.
Kubalulekile futhi ukubakhuthaza ukuba bakhulume ngalokho okwenzekayo ngesikhathi sezingxabano: "Uzizwa kanjani uma umfowenu ethatha ithoyizi lakho?", "Ungathanda ukuthini kuye kodwa ungalingi?". Ukusuka lapho, ungazijwayeza imisho elula nenenhlonipho ukuze bakwazi ukuzivikela ngaphandle kokuhlasela.
Umgomo uwukuba bafunde ukuxoxisana ngesimo sokulinganaukuvimbela ukuhlanganiswa kwezindima eziqinile "ezibusayo" kanye "nezokuzithoba" ezizophindwa ebuhlotsheni, ebudlelwaneni, nasemsebenzini.
Ukuxhumana okuphumelelayo phakathi kwabazali: uhlangothi oluvamile
Uma abazali bengavumelani ngokukhulisa izingane, ingane ibhekene nemiyalezo ephikisanayo: komunye umzali akukho lutho oluvunyelwe, komunye akuvunyelwe lutho, noma umzali ngamunye ulungisa izinqumo zomunye phambi kwengane. Lokhu kudala ukungazethembi futhi kuvula ithuba lokuba ingane ilawule isimo ukuze kuzuze yona.
La ukuxhumana okuvulekile nenhlonipho Ubuhlobo obuhle phakathi kwabalingani bubalulekile ekudaleni ubumbano, ngisho noma kukhona ukungezwani. Akukhona ukucabanga ngendlela efanayo kukho konke, kodwa kumayelana nokuvumelana ngalokho okufanele kuboniswe izingane nokuthi zingenza kanjani izinqumo ezibalulekile.
Amanye amasu okuxhumana awusizo kakhulu: ukulalela ngenkuthalo (ukuvumela omunye umuntu akhulume ngaphandle kokuphazamisa, ukuzama ukuqonda umbono wakhe), ukusebenzisa imiyalezo yomuntu wokuqala (“Ngizizwa”, “Ngidinga”) esikhundleni sokusola (“wena njalo”, “awusoze”), kanye nokuzinika isikhathi sokupholisa ingxoxo lapho izinto ziphuma endleleni, esikhundleni sokuqhubeka nokukhula.
Kungaba usizo futhi ukubhuka izikhathi ezithile Ukuxoxa ngokukhulisa izingane: umhlangano omfushane wamasonto onke lapho kubuyekezwa khona izinkinga, kulungiswa imithetho, futhi kuvunyelwana ngamasu. Lokhu kunciphisa amathuba okuthi kuvele izinkinga ezibucayi ngokuzumayo phambi kwezingane.
Uma abantwana bebona umuzwa wokubambisana kubazali babo, kulapho bezozizwa bephephile khona futhi kuzoba lula ngabo ukuhlonipha imingcele nemithetho engaguquki.
Isiyalo, imithetho kanye nokungaguquguquki: lokho abantwana abakufundayo endleleni esixoxa ngayo
Ukujezisa akulona igama elisho ukujezisa, kodwa kusho ukufundisaUmgomo wemithetho yomndeni ukusiza izingane zihlakulele ukuzithiba, umthwalo wemfanelo, kanye nenhlonipho ngabanye, hhayi ukulalela okungenangqondo ngenxa yokwesaba.
La ukuvumelana Ukubeka imithetho kungenye yezipho ezinhle kakhulu esingabanika zona. Ukwazi ukuthi yini elindelekile kubo, ukuthi imiphumela yokuwela umngcele injani, nokuqaphela ukuthi leyo miphumela inengqondo futhi isetshenziswa ngokuthula kubanika ukuphepha okukhulu.
Izingane zibhekisisa indlela esisingatha ngayo ukungezwani. Uma zibona imithetho isetshenziswa njengesikhali phakathi kwabazali ("uhlala umvumela ukuba aphunyuke kukho konke," "manje uzomthatha engimnike kona"), zizoqonda ukuthi imithetho iyaguquguquka kuye ngokuthi ubani omemeza kakhulu noma osesimweni esibi kakhulu.
Indlela yoku isiyalo esihle Ihlanganisa imingcele ecacile nezincazelo: izizathu zalo mthetho zichazwa ngendlela efanele ubudala ("awushayi ngoba ukulimaza omunye umuntu akulungile, futhi nawe awufuni ukulimala") futhi ingane ikhuthazwa ukuba ihlanganyele ekutholeni izixazululo lapho yenza iphutha.
Ekugcineni, indlela esiphikisana ngayo, esixoxisana ngayo, futhi esifinyelela ngayo izivumelwano iyisifundo esiphilayo samakhono okuxhumana nabantu kubantwana bethu. Umndeni uba yindawo yokucwaninga lapho befunda khona ukukhuluma, ukulalela, ukuvumelana, nokulungisa—amakhono abazowadinga kukho konke ukuphila kwabo.
Izingxabano phakathi kwezingane nabazali, kanye nezingxabano phakathi kwabantu ababili, azinyamalali ngomlingo, kodwa zingaguqulwa zibe amathuba okufunda Uma ukungezwani kubhekwana ngenhlonipho, ukuzithiba, kanye nokuzimisela ukuqondana, ukunaka isimo, ukubeka imingcele ecacile, ukulungisa umonakalo lapho senza amaphutha, kanye nokuba khona ukuze sixoxe kuguqula ikhaya libe yindawo lapho ukungezwani kungavezwa khona ngaphandle kokwesaba. Izingane ezikhula zibona abazali bazo bexazulula ukungezwani ngenhlonipho futhi zifuna usizo lapho kudingeka zizoba namathuluzi amaningi okuphatha imizwa yazo, zikhulise ubudlelwano bazo, futhi zakhe imindeni enempilo esikhathini esizayo.