Igama elithi co-parenting lingene ezingxoxweni, ezinkampanini zomthetho, ekubonisaneni ngengqondo, nasezinkundleni zemindeni.Kodwa kusalokhu kungumqondo ongacacile kubantu abaningi. Akukaveli okwamanje kusichazamazwi seRoyal Spanish Academy, kodwa kuchaza iqiniso elivamile kakhulu: labazali abakhulisa izingane zabo ngendlela efanayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi basebudlelwaneni bothando noma cha. Esimweni lapho amamodeli emindeni ehlukahluka kakhulu, ukuqonda ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukukhulisa izingane ndawonye ngempela nokuthi le modeli yokukhulisa izingane ngokuhlanganyela isebenza kanjani kubalulekile ekunakekeleni izingane, futhi, ngeshwa, ukunciphisa izingxabano eziningi phakathi kwabantu abadala.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana akugcini nje ngokudivosa noma ukuhlukanaKuphinde kuvulele abantu abangashadile, imibhangqwana yobulili obufanayo, noma abantu abadala abangafuni ubudlelwano bothando ukuthi banqume ukuba nezingane futhi bazikhulise ndawonye. Lokhu kufaka phakathi izinketho ze Ukuba ngumama ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ubuwena bakhoKonke lokhu kuphakamisa izinselele zomthetho, ngokomzwelo, kanye nokuhlela: kusukela endleleni isikhathi sokunakekela kanye nezindleko ezihlukaniswa ngayo, kuya endleleni imizwa yokuhlukana ephathwa ngayo, noma indlela umthwalo wengqondo odumile wokuphila kwansuku zonke ohlelwa ngayo.
Kuyini ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kwangempela?
Uma sikhuluma ngokukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana (noma ukuba ngumama ngokubambisana) sibhekisela eqinisweni lokuthi abantu abadala ababili noma ngaphezulu bathatha ukukhulelwa nokukhulisa ingane eyodwa noma ngaphezulu ndawonye.ngaphandle kokuba khona kobudlelwano bothando phakathi kwabo. Kungaba umbhangqwana osuqede ubuhlobo bawo bothando kodwa uqhubeka nokubambisana ekukhuliseni izingane zawo, noma abantu abangakaze babe umbhangqwana kodwa abavumile ukuba nomntwana futhi bamkhulise ndawonye.
Ezincwadini zomthetho nezengqondo zanamuhla, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kuchaza umthwalo wemfanelo wabazali kubantwana babo.Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuhlobo babo babunjani noma buyini, iphuzu elibalulekile akukhona ukuthi kwakukhona umshado, ukuhlala ndawonye, noma ubudlelwano bothando, kodwa kunalokho ukuthi bobabili abazali benze izinqumo ngokubambisana mayelana nemfundo, impilo, izindleko, imithetho, uthando kanye nokuvikelwa.
Lokhu kuhlukaniswa phakathi kwendawo yomshado (umbhangqwana) nendawo yomzali (ukuba obaba nomama) kubalulekileUmbhangqwana ungase ushintshe, uguqule, noma uqede ubudlelwano bawo, kodwa umthwalo wemfanelo wobuzali uyaqhubeka. Uma lolu shintsho luphilile, sikhuluma ngokukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana; lapho ingxabano ihlasela ubudlelwano bomzali futhi ingcolisa konke, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kuyawohloka noma kube yingozi kakhulu ezinganeni.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana akuyona into entsha yesimanje.Bekulokhu kukhona imindeni lapho abazali, ngisho nalapho behlukene, behlangene ukukhulisa izingane zabo, noma lapho abanye abantu (ogogo nomkhulu, o-anti, omalume, abalingani abasha) behlanganyela khona ngenkuthalo. Okusha ukuqashelwa okucacile kwale modeli, imithetho yayo yezomthetho, kanye nokwanda kwayo njengenketho ehlosiwe yokwakha umndeni ngale komshado wendabuko.
Amamodeli omndeni wamanje kanye nokwehlukahlukana ekukhuliseni izingane
I-Anthropology kanye ne-sociology bekulokhu kubonisa amashumi eminyaka ukuthi ayikho imodeli yomndeni "efanele" eyodwa.Kuwo wonke umlando kanye namasiko ahlukene, sithola izinhlobo eziningi zokuhlelwa kwemindeni: imindeni eyandisiwe, imindeni enomzali oyedwa, imindeni exubile, imindeni enabanakekeli abadala abaningi, imindeni engenabo ubuhlobo bomshado, njll. Umqondo waseNtshonalanga ojwayelekile wokuthi ubaba nomama nezingane bahlangane ungenye yezindlela ezingenzeka ngaphakathi kobubanzi obubanzi.
Emashumini eminyaka amuva nje, izinhlelo zokuphila zishintshileAbantu abaningi bayalibazisa ukuba abazali ngenxa yomsebenzi, yezemfundo, noma yezizathu zomuntu siqu; abanye abafuni umlingani ozinzile kodwa bafuna ukuba nezingane; ukubonakala kwabantu be-LGBT kanye namalungelo abo kugcizelele isidingo samafomula abavumela ukuthi bakhe umndeni ngaphandle kokuthembela kumodeli yendabuko yobulili obuhlukile.
Kulesi simo, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kuvela njengendlela eguquguqukayo nehlanganisa bonke. Lokhu kwenzelwa labo abafisa ukuba abazali kodwa abafuni noma abangakwazi ukuhambisana nobuhlobo bothando bendabuko nezingane. Kusebenza futhi ekuhlukaniseni imibhangqwana efuna ukugcina ukubambisana okuqinile kwenhlalakahle yezingane zabo, okubavimbela ekubanjweni yizimpi zomthetho ezingapheli.
Kwamanye amazwe afana ne-United States, i-Canada, i-United Kingdom, i-France, ne-Germany, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana ngokuvumelana phakathi kwabantu abadala abangebona umbhangqwana kuya ngokuya kusabalala.ESpain kusalokhu kungavamile, kodwa intshisekelo iyakhula futhi okuhlangenwe nakho kanye nezinsiza ezithile ziyavela ukuze kuqhutshekwe phambili nalezi zivumelwano.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana njengendlela yokuthola izingane
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana akusizi nje kuphela ekuqondiseni kabusha ukukhulisa izingane ngemva kwesehlukanisoFuthi kuyindlela esebenzayo yokufinyelela ekubeni ngumama noma ukuba ngubaba lapho ezinye izindlela zinzima noma zingahambisani nomsebenzi wokuphila komuntu.
Kwabesifazane abangashadile, inketho ejwayelekile ukusebenzisa ukwelashwa kokuzala ngomnikeli ongaziwa.Kodwa-ke, abesifazane abaningi bakhetha ukuthi izingane zabo zikhule nobaba obonakalayo nowamanje, futhi abazizwa bengakhululekile ukungazi ukuthi ubani onikelayo. Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kubavumela ukuba bakhethe omunye umzali, bamazi, basungule izivumelwano ezicacile, futhi babelane ngemithwalo yemfanelo yokukhulisa izingane, okwenza umthwalo ube lula futhi kuvimbele umuzwa wokuba "wedwa kukho konke."
Kwabesilisa abangashadile abafuna ukuba obaba, izinketho zendabuko zifaka phakathi ukutholwa noma ukuzalwa kwengane.Ukutholwa kungaba inqubo ende neyinkimbinkimbi, futhi ukuzalwa kwengane, ngaphandle kokuvinjelwa eSpain, kuphakamisa imibuzo ebalulekile yokuziphatha kanye nezomnotho. Ukukhulisa ingane ndawonye kuvezwa lapha njengendlela elula necacile: ukuthola owesifazane onesifiso esifanayo sokuba nomntwana ndawonye, ukuvumelana ngelungiselelo lokuphila kanye nokwahlukaniswa kwemithwalo yemfanelo, kanye nokuba abazali ndawonye ngaphandle kwesidingo sobudlelwano bothando.
Imibhangqwana yabantu bobulili obufanayo nayo ithola ukuthi ukukhulisa izingane ndawonye kuyindlela ethakazelisayo kakhulu.Umbhangqwana ongqingili ungafinyelela esivumelwaneni nowesifazane ongashadile ukuze bakhulelwe futhi bakhulise ingane ndawonye; ngaphakathi komphakathi we-LGBT, kukhona namacala okukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana phakathi kwemibhangqwana emibili, oyedwa ongqingili nomunye ongqingili, abanquma ukuba nomntwana ndawonye futhi babelane ngokunakekelwa phakathi kwabantu abadala abane. Kumntwana, lokhu kuhumusha omama ababili nobaba ababili abahilelekile, abanezinsiza eziningi ezingokomzwelo nezisebenzayo.
Kukhona ngisho nabantu abasebudlelwaneni obuzinzile abakhetha ukuhlukanisa iphrojekthi yabo yempilo yothando nephrojekthi yabo yokuba ngumama noma yokuba ngubaba.Kungenzeka ukuthi ilungu elilodwa lombhangqwana alifuni abantwana noma alikwazi ukuba nabo; noma bobabili bayaqonda ukuthi ubuhlobo babo akuyona indawo abafisa ukukhulisa kuyo abantwana, kodwa ukuthi oyedwa noma bobabili bafisa ukuba abazali ngesivumelwano nomunye umuntu. Kulezi zimo, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kuvumela ukwakheka kobudlelwano obuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu obuthembekile kakhulu ezifisweni zomuntu ngamunye.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana ezimweni zesehlukaniso kanye nokuhlukana
Emkhakheni wokuhlukana nokuhlukana, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kwenza umehluko phakathi kwenqubo yokuhlukana eyonakalisayo kanye nenqubo ehlobene nomjikelezo wokuphila komndeni.Uma umbhangqwana uhlukana, kungcono ukuthi uhlelo olungaphansi komshado (ubudlelwano bothando) luhlukaniswe nohlelo olungaphansi komzali (ubudlelwano njengabazali), ukuze ukunakekelwa kwezingane kuhlale kuyinto eza kuqala.
Ababhali abahlukene bahlukanisa phakathi kwezehlukaniso ezibhubhisayo kanye nezehlukaniso zokuziphendukela kwemvelo noma "umjikelezo wokuphila".Kulezi zimo zokugcina, umbhangqwana uyayamukela inkinga, uhlushwa ukulahlekelwa, kodwa uyakwazi ukubeka phambili inhlalakahle yezingane zawo, athathe isabelo sawo somthwalo wemfanelo, athembele ezinkundleni zokuxhumana eziseduze (umndeni, abangane), futhi abonise ukuguquguquka ekwakheni kabusha umndeni. Nakuba kungase kube nezingxabano zokuqala, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kuyaqhubeka futhi kusebenza njengesici sokuvikela intuthuko engokomzwelo yezingane nentsha.
Ngokuphambene nalokho, isehlukaniso esibhubhisayo sibonakala ngokuncintisana okwandayo phakathi kwabantu abadala.Ukumangalelana, ukuthola ukusolana, ukuxhumana okuqinile, ukungakwazi ukuxoxisana nokwamukela ukungezwani, kanye nokuzibandakanya okunamandla kwabantu besithathu (umndeni obanzi, abangane) ababhebhezela ingxabano esikhundleni sokusiza ukuyithulisa. Kulezi zimo, izingane zivame ukuba nengxenye ngokweqile: zicelwa ukuba zithathe uhlangothi, ziba izithunywa, izimfihlo, noma abalingani bohlangothi olulodwa ngokumelene nolunye.
Sikhuluma ngezinqubo ezingasebenzi kahle lapho ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kungenakuqhubeka Ngoba umbhangqwana uyehluleka ukuhlukanisa phakathi kokuwohloka kobudlelwano babo bothando kanye nendima yabo njengabazali. Omunye umuntu ubonakala njengesitha noma umuntu ongamazi, umuntu oye wakhaphela noma owenze ubudlova, bese ukuxhumana kuyaphela. Ingxabano, esikhundleni sokuhlala ngaphakathi komshado, isakazekela ohlelweni lwabazali, ivimba noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuxhumana.
Imiphumela kubantwana ijulile.Ngaphezu kwesehlukaniso ngokwaso, okulimazayo yingxabano eqhubekayo phakathi kwabazali, izimpi zomthetho ezingapheli, kanye nokuvezwa njalo ezimpikiswaneni, ukubizwa ngamagama ahlambalazayo, noma ubudlova. amagama okungafanele uwasho ezinganeni zakho Ukubhekana nezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza ngamazwi kubalulekile ekunciphiseni ukulimala. Abanye abantwana kanye nentsha baba yizisulu zezinkinga zomndeni, noma bakhethwa njengabangane bomunye wabazali babo. Lokhu kungadala ukwesaba, imizwa yokukhashelwa, intukuthelo, ubunzima bokuthemba, futhi, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ingozi yokuphinda bakhiqize amaphethini obudlelwano angasebenzi kahle empilweni yabo yobudala.
Izici ezidala ukungqubuzana ekukhuliseni izingane ngokubambisana
Ngisho noma kungekho zimpikiswano ezinkulu, kunezinto eziphindaphindwayo njalo njengemithombo yokungezwani ekukhuliseni izingane ngokubambisana.kokubili emindenini ehlukene kanye nakulabo abaqhuba ukukhulisa izingane ngokuhlanganyela kusukela ekuqaleni.
Ukuntuleka kokucaca ekusatshalalisweni kwezindima kungenye yezincwadi zakudala ezinhle kakhuluUma kungacaci ukuthi ubani obhekene nalokho, uhlelo luni, ubani ohlela ukuqokwa kodokotela noma imisebenzi yangaphandle, noma ukuthi impilo yansuku zonke iphathwa kanjani, kuvela ukungezwani okuqhubekayo. Umlayezo ongaphendulwa, ukuqokwa kwesikole okunganakwa, izindleko ezingashiwongo… Okubonakala sengathi ukunganakwa okuhlukile kuyaqoqana futhi kube yindawo yokuzalela ukujeziswa.
Umehluko ezindinganisweni zokukhulisa izingane kanye nezitayela phakathi kwemindeni nakho kudala ukungezwani okukhulu.Uma omunye umzali ebeke amashejuli, imingcele ecacile, kanye nemithetho eqinile, kuyilapho omunye eguquguquka noma evumela, izingane zithola imiyalezo ephikisanayo. Lokhu akugcini nje ngokubadida kodwa kuvame ukuzibeka esimweni lapho kufanele "zikhethe" ukuthi iyiphi indlela efanele, noma zisebenzise lo mehluko ukuze zilawule abantu abadala, hhayi ngenhloso embi kodwa ngamakhono amakhulu.
Esinye isici esivamile sokungqubuzana ukusabalala kolwazi olubalulekileUlwazi mayelana nempilo, izifundo, imisebenzi, izinguquko zeshejuli, noma izinqumo ezibalulekile luyalahleka ezingxoxweni ezingakahleleki, imiyalezo ye-WhatsApp, ama-imeyili, noma amanye amathuluzi. ubuchwepheshe kanye namanethiwekhi omphakathiNgaphandle kohlelo olucacile nolwabiwe, ulwazi oluthile luyalibaleka noma luhunyushwe kabi, futhi lokho kuvame ukuphela ngezimpikiswano mayelana nokuthi ubani owazise ukuthi ubani futhi nini.
Ukuphatha izindleko kanye nomnotho wokwabelana cishe kungenye yezinkinga ezibucayi kakhulu.Uma kungekho zivumelwano eziqondile mayelana nokuthi umzali ngamunye ukhokhela ini (ukudla, izingubo, imisebenzi, ukunakekelwa kwezokwelapha, amaholide, njll.) nokuthi lezo zinkokhelo zibhalwa kanjani, kuvela imizwa yokungabi nabulungisa noma ukuntuleka kokuqashelwa. Uma kukhona ngisho nokuncane kokungathembani okukhona, izinkinga zezimali zingabangela izingxabano ezinkulu.
Okokugcina, imizwa engaxazululiwe ebuhlotsheni bombhangqwana idlala indima enkulu.Umona, imizwa elimele ngenxa yokuhlukana, imizwa yokukhashelwa, intukuthelo ngezinqumo zangesikhathi esidlule… Uma le mizwa ingaxazululwa, ingangena kalula ebudlelwaneni bokukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana. Amazwana anobuthi, ukugcona, ukujezisa ukuthula, noma ukucekela phansi okucashile kungalimaza ilungiselelo lokukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana, ngokombono, elalifuna ukuba ngokubambisana.
Umsebenzi wengqondo kanye nesidingo sokusebenzisana
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana akukhona nje ukuhlukanisa isikhathi nezindleko; kuhilela nokwabelana ngomthwalo wengqondo odumile.Lokhu kuphathwa okungabonakali kwamashejuli, ama-aphoyintimenti, izinsuku zokuzalwa, izimpahla zesikole, imisebenzi, odokotela, amaqembu e-WhatsApp esikole, kanye nokunye okuningi kuyizici ezibonakala sengathi ukukhulisa izingane ngedijithali.
Emindenini eminingi, omunye wabazali ugcina esethatha cishe kuphela leyo nhlangano ethuleLokhu kuholela ekukhathaleni, ekucindezelekeni, futhi ngokuvamile ukucasuka. Akukhona nje ukwenza, kodwa nokucabanga ngalokho okudingeka kwenziwe, ukulindela, ukukhumbula, ukuhlanganisa… Uma omunye umuntu engazi ngalo msebenzi, imisho efana nokuthi “kodwa nami ngenza izinto” ingavela, ngaphandle kokuba aqaphele ukuthi umthwalo wengqondo uhlala ungalingani.
Isimo samanje, lapho imindeni ephinde yakhiwa kabusha kanye nabantu abadala abaningi ababandakanyeka ekukhuliseni izingane (ogogo nomkhulu, abalingani abasha, nabanakekeli), kwandisa isidingo sokusebenzisanaUma abadlali abaningi behileleka, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nolwazi olucacile nolwabiwe, kanye nemingcele echazwe kahle: ukuthi ubani onquma ukuthini, ubani ongalanda ingane, ukuthi yini eshiwoyo nengashiwoyo ngempilo yomunye umzali, njll.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngendlela enempilo kuhlose ukwenza umthwalo wengqondo ubonakale futhi usabalale ngokulinganayo.Lokhu kusho ukuhlala phansi ukuze ubukeze imisebenzi, hhayi nje ngokujulile, kodwa ngendlela eqondile: ukuthi ubani ophatha ama-aphoyintimenti kadokotela, ogcina isikhathi sesikole sihleliwe, othenga izingubo, ohlela imisebenzi. Ngezinye izikhathi, izinguquko ezincane kule ndawo zinciphisa kakhulu ukucindezeleka kwansuku zonke.
Yini esiza ngempela ekukhuliseni kahle izingane ngokubambisana
Ngaphandle kwemibono, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kwakhiwe ngezenzo eziqondile kanye nezivumelwano ezicacile empilweni yansuku zonke.Kunezimiso eziningana, nakuba zilula ngokubukeka, ezenza umehluko omkhulu endleleni umzali ohlanganyelwe ngayo.
Okokuqala ukuhlukanisa ngobuqotho ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu nobudlelwano babazaliUkuthi umlando wombhangqwana ubumuhle, mubi, noma uphakathi nendawo, ngokwawo, akunqumi ikhwalithi yokukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana. Okubalulekile ukuthi abantu abadala bayakwazi yini ukubeka phambili izidingo zezingane zabo, ukuphatha imizwa yabo kwezinye izimo (abangane, ukwelashwa, njll.), nokugcina ukuxhumana okusebenzayo mayelana nokukhulisa izingane.
Esinye isici esibalulekile ukuthuthukisa isimo sengqondo somthwalo wemfanelo ohlanganyelwe.Akukhona "ukusiza" omunye umzali, kodwa mayelana nokwamukela ukuthi bobabili banesibopho esifanayo semfundo yezingane, ukuvikelwa kwazo, kanye nenhlalakahle yazo yansuku zonke. Lo mthwalo wemfanelo ohlanganyelwe uhumusha isikhathi, ukubandakanyeka kwangempela, ukuba khona emicimbini ebalulekile, ama-aphoyintimenti ezokwelapha, imihlangano yesikole, izinqumo mayelana nemithetho, njalo njalo.
Ukuxhumana okucacile nokunenhlonipho kuyinsika eyisisekeloUkusungula iziteshi ezichaziwe (i-imeyili, izinhlelo zokusebenza ezabiwe, imihlangano ejwayelekile) kuvimbela ukungaqondani futhi kunciphisa umthwalo wokuqamba izinto ezintsha njalo. Lapho kuvela izihloko ezibucayi, ukuvumelana ngezikhathi ezithile zokuxoxa ngazo, ngaphandle kwezingane futhi zinesikhathi esanele, kusiza ukuvimbela ukuthi zingakhuli phakathi nezimo zansuku zonke.
Kuphinde kusize kakhulu ekuchazeni uhlaka oluncane lokuvumelana kwemfundo phakathi kwemindeniAmakhaya amabili akudingeki afane, kodwa kufanele kube nezivumelwano ngezindaba ezibalulekile: amashejuli okulala, imithetho yokuhlonipha, isikhathi sokubuka isikrini, ukuhlela ukufunda, kanye nemingcele eyisisekelo. Ukusuka lapho, umzali ngamunye angaba nesitayela sakhe, kodwa izingane zibona ukuqhubeka okuthile futhi zizizwe ziphephile kakhudlwana.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana ohlelweni lwezomthetho
Emkhakheni wezomthetho, izinguquko zakamuva zibonisa ushintsho olucacile kakhulu lwendlela yokwenza izintoAkuseyona into egxile ekutheni ubani "owina" ilungelo lokukhulisa izingane, kodwa kuyindlela yokuqinisekisa izithakazelo ezinhle kakhulu zengane noma intsha. Umqondo oyisisekelo uwukuthi, ngaphandle kwezimbalwa, okungcono kakhulu ezinganeni ukugcina izibopho eziqinile nokunakekelwa okuphumelelayo nabazali bobabili, ngaphandle kwezibalo ezingaphandle noma zesibili.
Ezinhlelweni eziningi zomthetho, okuhlanganisa neyaseSpain, kucatshangwa ukuthi lapho abazali behlala ndawonye, ukufeza umthwalo wemfanelo wobuzali kuba yinto ehlangene.Futhi leyo ngqondo ihlala ikhona ngemva kokuhlukana: ukuhlukana kombhangqwana akufanele, kwasekuqaleni, kusho ukuthi oyedwa walaba ababili wehliswa esikhundleni esincane empilweni yezingane, ngaphandle kokuthi kuboniswe ukuthi abakho esimweni sokwenza imisebenzi yabo yobuzali ngokwanele noma ukuthi ukubandakanyeka kwabo kuzophikisana nezintshisekelo zengane.
Umthetho ojwayelekile, ezimweni zokuhlukana noma isehlukaniso, uphathelene nokunakekelwa okwabelanayo.La malungiselelo angathatha izinhlobo ezahlukene. Enye iwukuba izingane zihlale ziphethe izingane: izingane zichitha isikhathi esiningi nabazali bobabili, kodwa indawo yazo yokuhlala eyinhloko isekhaya lomunye wabo. Enye iwukuba izingane zihlale ziphethe izingane, lapho indawo yokuhlala ihlukaniswa khona ngokulinganayo phakathi kwemindeni emibili.
Kunoma yiliphi lala malungiselelo, kugcizelelwa ukuthi bobabili kumele banikele ekunakekelweni nasekuhlanganyeleni ngenkuthalo ezinqumweni ezibalulekile.Inhloso ukuhlukana nemodeli yakudala yobuphathi lapho umama wayethatha khona umthwalo wemfanelo wezingane ngokuzenzakalelayo kanti ubaba wayebekwa esikhundleni sokuba ngumhlinzeki oyinhloko. Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana ngokomthetho kukhuthaza ukulingana kwezindima zabazali futhi kusiza, isibonelo, intuthuko ephelele yabesifazane empilweni yabo yobungcweti neyomuntu siqu.
Lolu hlaka lokulawula luhambisana kakhulu neSivumelwano Samalungelo EnganeLesi simiso sigcizelela ilungelo lezingane lokugcina ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu kanye nokuxhumana ngqo nabazali bobabili, uma nje lokhu kuhambisana nenhlalakahle yabo. Ngakho-ke izinkantolo nemithetho zizama ukuvikela hhayi amalungelo ezingane kuphela kodwa futhi nokusungula uhlaka lokulingana ngokomthetho phakathi kwabantu abadala abathintekayo.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana ohlelweni lokwelapha
Ngokombono wengqondo kanye nokwelashwa komndeni, ukuhlukana kanye nesehlukaniso kubhekwa njengezinkinga ezingaba amathuba okukhula, uma ziphathwa kahle.Isihluthulelo ukuthi ukuhlukana kuphakathi kombhangqwana, kodwa hhayi umndeni, okusekelana uma kudingeka ngezinsiza ezivela inhlalakahle yomzimba nengqondoOkusho ukuthi, izibopho nemisebenzi yabazali ingalondolozwa, noma ngabe indlela abantu abadala abaxhumana ngayo iyashintsha.
Amadivayisi okwelapha agxile ekukhuliseni izingane ngokubambisana ahlose ukuhlela kabusha ubudlelwano phakathi kwabazali nezingane.ukusiza abantu abadala ukuba bakhululeke emjikelezweni wezingxabano futhi bakhe kabusha ukusebenza ngokubambisana. Lesi sikhala sikhuthaza abazali ukuba "bacabange ngokubambisana": ukuhlola ezinye izindlela, ukuzama izindlela ezintsha zokuxhumana, ukubukeza izivumelwano, kanye nokugcina ukugeleza kolwazi okunempilo.
Umgomo wokwelapha awukona ngempela ukubuyisana nombhangqwana oshadile.Kunalokho, kumayelana nokwenza izingane zibonakale, ukuzinika indawo efanele kanye nezwi, nokuqinisa amakhono okukhulisa izingane omuntu omdala ngamunye. Kwenziwa imizamo yokuvimbela izingane ukuthi zingabanjwa phakathi kwengxabano, ukukhuthaza amamodeli anjengokukhulisa izingane ngasikhathi sinye, lapho abazali begcina khona ibanga elinempilo kodwa bexhumana ngezici ezibalulekile zokukhulisa izingane.
Ezimweni ezingapheli kakhulu, lapho ingxabano yangemva komshado ihlale iminyaka eminingi futhi izingane sezivele zibonisa izimpawu ezibalulekile (izinkinga zokuziphatha, ukukhathazeka, ukudabuka, ubunzima bokufunda, njll.), ukungenelela kokwelapha kungasiza ekunciphiseni ukulimala futhi kususe kancane kancane abantu abadala "empini." Ngokuvamile, izimpawu zezingane ziyancipha lapho abazali beyeka ukuqulwa kwamacala okwandayo bese beqala ukuzijwayeza ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana ngendlela esebenzayo.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kanye nokuxhumana kwabazali ngaphandle kwezinkantolo
Ukwanda kwemindeni ebhajwe ezinqubweni zomthetho ezinde neziyinkimbinkimbi kuye kwakhulisa indima yokuxhumanisa abazali.Lona umthombo wobungcweti osebenza emngceleni ophakathi kwezinhlelo zomthetho nezokwelapha, ngenhloso yokusiza ekuqaliseni izinqumo zenkantolo nokunciphisa izingxabano empilweni yansuku zonke.
Umxhumanisi wokukhulisa izingane usiza abazali ekuchazeni izinqumo zenkantolo ngendlela engokoqobo.Indlela yokuhlela amashejuli, indlela yokuxhumana ngezinguquko, indlela yokuxazulula ukungezwani okuthile ngaphandle kokubuyela enkantolo njalo. Inhloso yayo akuyona ukunikeza ukwelashwa ngomqondo wendabuko, kodwa ukwakha ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana ukuze kuvikelwe izingane ezingxabanweni eziqhubekayo.
Lolu hlobo lokungenelela luqaphela ngokusobala ukuthi akuyona ukuhlukana ngokwako okulimaza kakhulu izingane kanye nentsha.kodwa ukuvezwa ngokuphindaphindiwe ezingxabanweni ezinkulu phakathi kwabazali. Ngokunikeza isikhala esiphakathi nendawo, esiguquguqukayo kunenqubo yokwahlulela futhi esisebenza kangcono kunendlela yokwelapha yendabuko kwezinye izimo, kuvuleka indlela eyengeziwe yokubuyisela ukubambisana okuncane.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kusukela ekuzalweni: indaba yosana olusanda kuzalwa
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kungcono kakhulu kusukela eminithini yokuqala yokuphila komntwana.Abazali abaningi bazihlela njengeqembu langempela kusukela ezinsukwini zokuqala, bahlukanise imisebenzi futhi bafuna izindlela zokuba bobabili bahileleke ngempela ekunakekelweni kosana olusanda kuzalwa.
Ngesikhathi sokuncelisa, isibonelo, ithuluzi eliwusizo ukusebenzisa iphampu yebele.ukuze ubisi olukhanyisiwe lunikezwe ingane ngebhodlela. Ngale ndlela, akuyena umama kuphela opha umntwana osanda kuzalwa ubisi, kodwa nomunye umzali angamnika ibhodlela, aqinise isibopho futhi anciphise ukukhathala okuhambisana nokuba khona amahora angama-24 ngosuku.
Kukhona amabhodlela ezingane aklanyelwe ukulingisa indlela yokuncela ibele.Lokhu kuvumela ingane ukulawula ukugeleza kobisi ngempumelelo futhi kwenza kube lula ukushintsha phakathi kokuncelisa ibele nebhodlela. Lezi zixazululo zobuchwepheshe zikhuthaza ukukhulisa izingane ngokukhululeka, njengoba zivumela bobabili abazali ukuthi bashintshane ngokuncelisa ngaphandle kokuphazamisa kakhulu ukuncelisa.
Ama-baby monitor ahlakaniphile nawo asiza ukuhlela kangcono inquboLawa madivayisi avumela abazali ukuthi baqaphe ingane yabo besuka kwelinye igumbi, bahlole ukuthi ilala kanjani ngesikhathi sangempela, futhi bahlele ukuthi ubani ovuka ngasiphi isikhathi. Kuhlanganiswe neziqondiso ezisebenzayo zokunakekelwa okuyisisekelo kwengane esanda kuzalwa (indlela yokuthobisa ukukhala, indlela yokuyenza ilale ngokuphephile, ukuhlanzeka kwemishini, njll.), konke lokhu kwenza kube lula kubazali bobabili ukufunda nokwabelana ngemithwalo yemfanelo kusukela ekuqaleni.
Ezinye izincomo zokwakha ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana nosana olusanda kuzalwa zifaka phakathi ukuchaza isitayela sokukhulisa izingane ndawonye nokwenza izinqumo njengeqembu. (isibonelo, maqondana nokuncelisa, ukulala ndawonye, amaphethini okulala), ukusungula imikhuba efanayo yokuncelisa, ukugeza, nokushintsha amanabukeni, ukuya emihlanganweni yezingane ndawonye uma kungenzeka, nokuqinisekisa ukuthi bobabili abazali bajabulela isikhathi esihle somuntu ngamunye nomntwana, kanye nokubhekana nokululama nge ukudla kwangemva kokubeletha ezanele.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana: imodeli ehlanganisa wonke umuntu enekhono elikhulu
Ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kwangempela kubonisa ushintsho olukhulu endleleni esiqonda ngayo umndeni, ubumama, kanye nokuba ngubaba.Akugcini nje ekuphatheni kangcono isehlukaniso, kodwa kuvula amathuba kubantu, kuze kube muva nje, abakuthola kunzima kakhulu ukuba abazali ngenxa yokuthambekela kwabo ngokocansi, isimo sabo somshado, noma izinhlelo zabo zokuphila.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kugcizelela isidingo sokwabelana ngemithwalo yemfanelo kanye nengxoxo eqhubekayo.Ukuba nabantu abadala abaningi abahilelekile akuqinisekisi ngokuzenzakalelayo ukuthi ukukhulisa izingane kulula; kubalulekile ukuvumelana ngemithetho, ukuhlukanisa umsebenzi obonakalayo nongabonakali, ukufunda ukuphatha imizwa yokuhlukana noma ukungezwani, bese usebenzisa, uma kudingeka, ukwesekwa kwezomthetho nokwelapha.
Uma kusebenza, ukukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana kuba yinto enamandla yokuvikela izingane kanye nentshaKubavumela ukuthi balondoloze ukuxhumana okunenjongo nabo bonke abantu ababalulekile, kunciphisa ukuchayeka ezingxabanweni ezibhubhisayo, kubanikeza izinsiza ezengeziwe ezingokomzwelo nezibonakalayo, futhi kubabekela isisekelo sokuthuthukisa ubudlelwano obunempilo besikhathi esizayo. Emphakathini lapho ukuhlukahluka komndeni sekuvele kungokoqobo, ukuqonda nokukhulisa lo modeli wokukhulisa izingane ohlanganyelwe kubalulekile enhlalakahleni yezizukulwane ezizayo.
